Richie Hardcore is a Muay Thai coach and public educator of family violence prevention, masculinity and mental health. Claire Robbie teaches meditation and yoga, is the founder of No beers? Who cares! and recently opened The School of Modern Meditation.
Richie
We met at a party five years ago and I thought Claire was cool and interesting but I was in a committed relationship at the time. However, that relationship ended and so did hers.
She had moved back from Los Angeles and was at the outset of living a life without alcohol and found New Zealand a hard place to socialise without booze so started No Beers? Who Cares! I was working in alcohol and drug harm reduction so messaged her and said, “I’d love to help with your project.” I’ve been publicly sober for a long time and she invited me to speak at one of her events.
That night, I was talking about how growing up with an alcoholic parent impacted me and how I tend to be attracted to damsels in distress and Claire made this quip, “Will you rescue me?” and everyone laughed. Later, I went to one of her yoga classes and asked, “Would you like to go on a date?” We’re both divorced, so we went into it intentionally and slow. Here we are four years later and I’m still grateful for that.
Claire has a really loving and connected nuclear family, but I didn’t grow up like that so it’s quite foreign to me. She has a child, who is now my step-son and I love him heaps. Watching Claire love her son is quite profound; it’s a cosmic experience that I don’t know how to put into words and it’s nice to see every day.
I can stand on a stage in front of 8,000 people and talk about sexual harassment, or put on a pair of shorts and knock another man out, and yet sitting at home with a kid, drawing pictures was new for me and it has really enriched my life. Claire’s helped me soften and step outside of my routine just by how she lives and I’ve had to learn to be more comfortable in that role. We met each other at the right intersection in our personal histories.
Claire has an enquiring mind and she’s always open to learning and self-reflection, which I find exciting. She knows what she likes, she’s strong and forthright, educated and funny and she challenges me a lot, because I’m really opinionated, and I love her for it. I find her desire for growth perpetually attractive, and I love her more and more as time goes on.
Claire
The first time we met was when my best friend was having a house party and I had just moved back from LA. Richie was there with his girlfriend at the time and I remember thinking he was American. He was covered in tattoos and he reminded me of where I had lived in Venice, California. A couple of years later, I started No Beers? Who Cares! a mindful-drinking movement, and Richie got in touch to let me know that if I needed any help he had worked in alcohol and drug harm reduction for years.
He became one of our first ambassadors, yet for me there was no chemistry until I heard him speak at one of our events. He’s a phenomenal public speaker and I remember listening to him and thinking, “Oh, pretty amazing.” The next day he came to my yoga class and asked me on a date.
Richie’s an incredibly warm, very emotional, intelligent, articulate, hilarious human being. My favourite thing about him is how much he makes me laugh. I wish people knew how funny he is because he can seem quite earnest and serious in his social media posts, and he is, but he’s also not at all. He looks kind of tough on the outside, with all his tattoos and the kick-boxing, but he really isn’t. He’s quite a poetic human being and I think that’s probably what’s so appealing to me, that contrast really.
We’ve got very different tastes in things like music and how we spend our time, but we’re very similar in that we’re both incredibly passionate about certain things. Richie feels things very deeply and it’s beautiful to see and wonderful role-modelling for my son. He’s definitely not ashamed or embarrassed about his emotions at all, and I find that very endearing.
We’ve also both been divorced, which for each of us was incredibly devastating. Meeting later in life, we’ve been able to be patient with each other because we understand and have worked through a lot of the reasons why our past relationships haven’t worked, and have now settled into something that’s really beautiful and honest. I came from a really conventional upbringing and I was really sad when I realised I wasn’t going to raise my son with his dad, but it’s a really beautiful thing to watch Richie with him and I’m really thankful for our relationship.
