Alcoholism has been in Shelley Gulliford’s family for as far as she can trace back. But thanks to her recovery with The Retreat NZ, she has been the catalyst of change for her own children.
Shelley moved from her hometown of Warkworth to Auckland at the age of 12, and from that point on, drinking was all she knew.
“I just thought it was what you did,” says Shelley.
But boozy Christmases, Friday nights and work parties turned into drinking every day in her 30s. For five years, alcohol was the only fluid she consumed, drinking vodka at night and premixes in the morning in an effort to rehydrate.
After moving back to Warkworth in 2022, Shelley attended local recovery meetings but wasn’t prepared to stop drinking. She met people from The Retreat NZ and visited once.
On her 40th birthday, what was meant to be one night of celebrating turned into a three-week cycle that she couldn’t escape.
“That was when I thought, ‘I’m not in control’,” says Shelley.
She became a guest of The Retreat NZ in September of 2023 but was scared about being away from her 10-year-old daughter, Anya, for 30 days.
“She was the first person I told. She just held my hand and told me that she supported me,” says Shelley.
“I remember the energy and love I felt when I walked through the doors. I knew I couldn’t do it by myself. I thought I was going to come here for a re-set. A week into my stay I rang my friend and said, ‘Oh my gosh, I’m an alcoholic.’ She said, ‘I know.’ Everyone except me knew.”
Rehab also taught her that alcoholism is a thinking disease.
“I was always fast paced. Five years ago I got run over and was in a cast for a year. It was just absolute hell for my head – being a patient, I had no patience!” says Shelley.
Her recovery has strengthened her relationship with both Anya and her son Tremayne (20), who works as a chef in Australia.
“I’ve noticed that my kids express themselves more. Instead of them looking after me, I’m the parent now,” says Shelley.
“I can take Anya to dance every day and she’s not missing out on anything. She can go to more sleepovers, and I can get out and do things with her.”
Shelley did two lots of 90 recovery meetings in 90 days, and Anya accompanied her to every one without complaint.
Shelley did two lots of 90 recovery meetings in 90 days, and Anya accompanied her to every one without complaint.
After six months of intensive recovery following her time at The Retreat NZ, Shelley was offered a job there as a Retreat Assistant.
Shelley is now studying for her Level 4 Certificate in Mental Health and Addiction Recovery, with a view to utilise her background as a teacher in a different way by sharing her experience.
“The best thing about recovery is to be able to be in the moment, to create memories, to have dreams – to live the life I always wanted to live,” says Shelley. “I suffered from depression my whole life and now I’m just so happy, and that radiates onto Anya.”
Be sure to visit our website for videos and other helpful information. theretreatnz.org.nz 0800 276 237 info@theretreatnz.org.nz
