Because She’s Worth It

In celebration of Mother’s Day, Verve sits down with some cool Auckland mums who share some favourite memories and thoughtful parenting tips. 

Chia is mum to “three charming little men”. Her 10-year-old “bookworm” Etienne, who still allows her to kiss him on the lips and hold his hand in public. “Kitchen whizz and sports nut” Wolfgang is eight years old and “loves a good prank”, while the youngest, four-year-old Cassidy, is a musician who’s obsessed with Beyblades and craft glue.

What lessons and values do you hope to pass on to them?

Discover your passion and find a way to pursue it. Strive to live an authentic life and be kind, respectful and honest to those around you while doing so.

How did your mother influence your life and parenting approach?

My mother was strict with my brother and I. She missed out on having a carefree childhood and missed out on having an education, having to work from the age of 10 to help support her family of six siblings. She’s always been very clear with her intentions and her hardworking nature and meticulous ways of doing things has definitely rubbed off on me. But I’m more open minded and adaptable, like my father, so I think my approach to parenting mimics my mother’s approach of having clear boundaries – but a little less strict! It’s lovely to see how my mother has softened over the years as a grandmother to six grandchildren. I think her time in NZ has helped her adjust to a more laid-back Kiwi way of raising children!

What are your earliest memories of Mother’s Day?

Growing up in Vietnam, Mother’s Day isn’t a celebrated. My parents escaped to New Zealand as refuges after the Vietnam War and worked most days to provide us with an upbring they could only dream of. My mother says: “Every day is Mother’s Day if my children are behaving!” The most memorable moments I have with her would be the countless karaoke nights in our living room squished together on a cream La-Z-Boy recliner – which my parents still own – belting out ‘Love Me Tender’ on repeat! 

What are your favourite memories as a mother?

I’ve always loved the arts and crafts sent home from kindy with the boys, but to be honest it is just another day in our household. It’s definitely an excuse to do some baking which then gets delivered to my parents or girlfriends. Some years, we’ve gone out for a big family yum cha – which is always a winner with everyone!

Plans for this year? 

My boys and I will probably whip up a batch of almond croissants or macadamia biscotti which we will deliver to my mum and partner’s mother. Probably followed with the usual cuddles, chaos, requests, mess, and noise from our gaggle of children.   

What do you most love about motherhood? 

I’m not sure how to answer that one – it’s just one big ride! So many highs and lows, it’s hard to pinpoint one specific thing. I think I’ll always enjoy having the opportunity to see how each of my boys develop in character as they get older. What I once thought they struggled with suddenly becomes their strength and what I used to worry about is no longer a problem. Noticing how inquisitive they become of the world around them as they get older amazes me. They develop their own opinions and beliefs and suddenly they’re getting to the age where you are no longer teaching them. You are alongside, supporting them. I guess I love the challenge of motherhood. For me, the challenge is to bring them up with good core values while also support their unique personalities and allowing them work it out for themselves, with my peripheral guidance. 

Anything you now know that you wished you’d known as a new parent?

Everyone has their opinion and beliefs about how things should be done. Use what information sits well with you, trust your intuition, and just go for it. It’s not often things go exactly as planned, so just being mindful to go into each day prepared for the ups and downs. Don’t sweat the small stuff and just be kind to yourself, those around you, and enjoy the ride as no day is like the other.

Advice you’d give to new or expectant mums out there?  

Take the time to really treasure the newborn stage. Every stage is great in its own way but there’s nothing like the smell, noises, and cuddles a brand new baby provides, and unfortunately this stage passes in a flash. Also, take the time, especially in the first month to rest, recover, and nap whenever possible. Making a conscious effort to take it slowly and let others help as much as possible will really help with recovery and your mental health. 

Chia has kindly donated a $250 1-hour wellness session at Wellness with Chia (wellnesswithchia.com) for one lucky mum.
Click here to be into win.

Mother’s Day is bittersweet for Luci who sadly lost her mum when she was 25 to breast cancer. “It was before I became a mother and I found it a very difficult day to navigate,” recalls Luci. “But after having children eight years later, and experiencing the joy of having my own kids, I’ve come to enjoy this day more and find it easier to remember and celebrate my amazing mum.”

We’d love to hear about her.

Mum was a very caring, selfless and strong woman. She wanted the very best for me, always putting me first. She was the oldest of seven children, so was always organising family and friends get-togethers – a role I often now find myself in! She envisioned having loads of kids herself, but had fertility issues, so just had me.

She seemed to juggle life as a working mum incredibly well and easily, working as a nurse while also being there for me, as Dad worked long hours. She was always there for me – both emotionally and physically, and encouraged me to have good morals and values, and this is something I’m trying to continue with my children while I juggle running a business and being a mum.

Being my biggest cheerleader, no profession was off limits. She wanted me to achieve great things and to experience true love and the happiness of having a family of my own. She encouraged me to take every opportunity and try new things – piano and drum lessons, competitive roller skating, playing netball, athletics, skiing, trampolining, and doing many art programmes. This approach is something my husband I embrace, encouraging our kids to get involved in lots of different activities. 

We always ate together as a family. She was a fantastic cook, having lived overseas for 10 years, very experimental, cooking European dishes like paella for dinner, when everyone else was having meat and veg. I like to continue this tradition, eating together as a family every night, enjoying dishes from around the world and using this as an opportunity to teach the children about other cultures – which they’ll hopefully get to explore one day.

What are you favourite memories of Mother’s Day with her?

My parents collected NZ contemporary art and were heavily involved in the Govett-Brewster Art Gallery in New Plymouth. I have fond memories of exploring the art gallery and lots of wine nights at my house with their friends, discussing art – and no doubt a lot of other things! Being an only child, I used to entertain myself with crafting and little art projects. For Mother’s Day and birthdays, I made origami boxes with notes inside telling her why and how much I loved her. My mum was super sentimental, and I found many of these homemade mementos in her jewellery box after she passed away.

What are you plans for Mother’s Day this year?

Breakfast in bed with homemade cards from my kids. Then a shared lunch with my in-laws, celebrating my amazing mother-in-law. 

Tell us about your kids.

Taylor and Enzo are two-and-a-half years apart and the best of friends – 90% of the time! We recently went on an amazing trip to Disney Land in LA and the Panorama Ski Resort in Canada and the kids absolutely loved the storytelling and thrilling rides of Disney Land – and the best churros ever – and skiing amongst the trees. Taylor is nine years old, with a quiet confidence – she’s really come out of her shell in the last couple of years. She’s super sporty, able to do most sports she tries her hand at. Her idol is Ruby Tui and she’s obsessed with Rippa Rugby. Enzo is seven and currently sporting a mullet. He’s a bit of a joker but a sensitive soul who’s always up for a cuddle when no one’s watching. He loves pasta, football and also gaming.

What values do you hope to instil in them?

To always try your best and give everything a go. To be honest, kind and treat everyone with respect and equality. To live life to the fullest – and have fun!

What do you most love about motherhood?

Experiencing unwavering, fierce love and being tested daily. Watching these little people grow before your eyes and learn new things.

Anything you wished you’d known as a new parent, and advice you’d pass on?

Try and relax. An anxious parent makes for an anxious baby and child. That those sleepless nights do pass, and that they grow so quickly, so enjoy those cuddles and milestones in the moment, not wishing for the next. Though there’s no rule book, there are some great books to guide you on babies’ sleeping and eating, which was all so foreign to me. And when someone offers to help or bring you food, say yes.

Sarah is mum to five-year-old Mataya, who’s affectionate and loving and, “like a little fairy, moves gently in this world”. Though shy a first, Sarah says that once Mataya gets comfortable, you’d “better be ready for endless chatter!” A huge lover of music and dance, last year, Mataya performed a ballet, jazz, hip hop and contemporary item, and this year has started in the bi-lingual te reo unit at Westmere Primary School, which she adores.

What lessons and values do you hope to pass on to her?

Be brave, be honest, be kind.

Can you tell us a little about your mother and her influence on your life?

My mum is my best friend. We speak several times a day and Facetime on top of that! But we probably approach parenting differently! Mum is a stickler for time, something I certainly didn’t inherit – though I know my husband wishes I did! I just remember always feeling loved and safe with my mum, and I still do. I want my daughter to feel the same.

Do you have any favourite Mother’s Day memories with her?

Lunch at Sails. Mum getting me into my number ones for a fancy lunch. In the 80s, all the boardwalks were open and we loved walking up and down after lunch looking at all the beautiful boats.

And favourite memories of the day as a mother?

Every year since Mataya was born, I’ve worked Mother’s Day at my restaurant. It’s a huge day for hospitality. I have the fondest memories of bringing her in for a while over Mother’s Day lunch each year, from carrying her around as baby to her toddling around as she learned to walk, and last year her wanting to seat people and offering water! Mataya is the same age as Morell, so it’s lovely for the regulars to watch her grow with us.

So, you’ll be working again this year?

Yes! Mataya will make her usual cameo appearance but she’ll spend most of the day with her Nonna – my mum – celebrating with the rest of the family.

Tell us what most moves you about motherhood.

That unconditional, pure love that’s so equally reciprocated.

Anything you wished you’d known as a new parent, and tips you’d pass on?

Yes, trust your gut – the most important things will happen organically. And a mother’s instinct is everything trust that too.