The Cambridge Dictionary defines ‘middle age’ as “the period of your life, usually considered to be from about 45 to 60, when you are no longer young, but are not yet old”.
Opinions, however, vary dramatically.
A survey by online learning website Love to Learn found Brits don’t consider midlife to start until the age of 55 – surely wildly optimistic! – and old age to only apply to those pushing 70. Respondents to a US Men’s Health magazine survey agreed middle age to begin aged 37, while in Aotearoa the consensus falls somewhere in between (aged 45, according to Te Ara: The Encyclopaedia of New Zealand).
Midlife is one of those things that I thought would only happen to other people, and, entering my 40s with no kids (and being part of a group of, so far, childless friends) has likely helped reinforce my state of denial – despite the expanding sprinkling of wrinkles and grey whiskers. Parenthood, I suspect, seriously sharpens the passage of time, watching that small human grow (and so fast, so says everyone) a reminder of our ever-changing – and ageing – state. Without children and all the responsibilities that they entail, does middle age perhaps sneak up on us even more surreptitiously so?
Midlife for many is the busiest and most stressful period of our existence, often juggling a marriage and mortgage while raising a family and perhaps keeping an eye on elderly parents, too. Yet it’s the most vital time for taking care of ourselves to ensure our older selves are around for the longest – and healthiest – time. Metabolism slows, the weight creeps on, and hormonal changes will likely wreak havoc. Sleep and exercise are never so important, and just when most have the least hours in a day to do them.
Middle age is also generally the longest and most diverse period of our lives, yet – perhaps, in part, because it is so difficult to define – remains far less researched than childhood, adolescence, and senior years. But it is agreed that it is certainly happening later.
“The sorts of things we might have seen people in their 20s doing in the decades past like having children, finding a life partner, and buying a house is being delayed now until the 30s,” says William Chopik, assistant professor of psychology and principal investigator of a Michigan State University study of more than half-a-million people.
And comfortingly middle age denial is not just common, but it’s rooted in reality too. A fifth of respondents to the study said they felt younger than they really are, with the percentage increasing with age.
“As our life spans get longer, so does our view of old age,” continues Chopik. “How we view ourselves changes constantly as we age.”
And the self-deception does wonders for our health: “People who report feeling younger actually tend to live longer and healthier lives and they don’t tend to have as much of a pattern of decline.”
Who says denial’s all bad.
